Prom Bomb
by The Angry Lioness
Summary: The Gulf of Mexico is threatened by Hoggish Greedly. If Linka doesn't give his son Junior the best prom night ever, the gulf will have the worst oil spill in history.
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, so there's a summary of an episode from "Once Upon a Time" in here. If you're overly sensative to spoilers, just remember that no one's making you read this but yourself.**

Hoggish Greedly was pigging out as usual; another scheme had been formed and was to be put into action. Sitting at the kitchen table, he scarfed down his celebratory feast, happy as a pig in mud. He was going to celebrate later with more food.

That was not the only exciting event to occur the next day. His son, Hoggish Greedly Junior, was going to his prom. Greedly took his sons prom night almost more seriously than his new scheme. He had his suit at the cleaners and paid the most he could for the limousine.

"Rigger!"

"Yeah boss? Yip yip!"

"Get me those damn blueprints already!" Pieces of pasta flew out his teeth.

His buck-toothed lackie walked into the kitchen with a blue scroll. Greedly grinned as the scroll unrolled. Drawn in white was a drill like device hundreds of feet below the ocean ground. He turned his head to the only non-edible object at the table and picked it up.

"Just one push of a button and the whole Gulf is KABOOM!"

The hog started laughing intoxicatingly when his front door boomed opened, then bombed closed.

"Rigger, you better have picked up his tux from the laundry place already." Greedly remembered.

"No point anymore, Pop." Junior huffed as he entered the kitchen. "I'm not going anymore." He threw his backpack to the pink tiled floor.

"What do ya mean 'not going!' You paid for your tickets and I already paid for your tux and limo! And there are no refunds on any of them!"

Hoggish Greedly Junior was not popular at school. He was constantly bullied and nobody popular wanted to be seen with him. One reason was his fathers reputation and the fact that they were literally "Piggish." To have a girlfriend he could take to the dance in the first place was a miracle to his dad, even if she was from a different school.

"Madison dumped me!"

Greedly sighed as if that wasn't a good excuse. "Then go alone," was his uncomforting reply.

"Are you serious dad? I'm the biggest loser at school! If I don't have a date, it will be the worst night of my life!" Like most teens, Junior ventured towards the fridge.

"Why don't you find him a date, boss." Rigger suggested.

"Shut up Rigger, I'm thinking." Greedly snorted. "Hey. How about I find you a date, Junior?"

"Prom is tomorrow, Pop."

"Don't underestimate me boy. You will have a date, I promise you. Just tell me what kind of lady you like and I'll get her."

"Yeah, a nice lady! Yip yip!"

"So whadoyou like?"

Junior was silent, reluctant at what his dad was doing for him. But if he were to go to this dance, he had to have a partner. None of his few friends were going since they were the type who considered the dance to be a waste of time.

As Greedly was thinking, his eyes wandered on the blueprint. The drawing of the drill sparked a new idea. "Junior, I'm going to get you the best prom date ever."

"So now Belle has amnesia and is scared of Mr. Gold."

"Uh huh."

"And that guy who drove into Storybrooke, we still don't know who he is. Chances are he is not a fairy tale character."

"Ok."

"And I don't think they explained yet how Dr. Frankenstein got sucked into the curse."

"I know, when I found out he was Frankenstein, I was thinking 'wait a minute'."

"Da, they must explain that. I hate it when good TV shows stop airing new episodes in the middle of the season. At least we don't have to wait until September like Wheeler does."

The girls sat on the shore of the beach, letting the waves creep under them. They were discussing Linka's favorite TV show iOnce Upon a Time/i, which left off on a huge cliffhanger.

"So, have you been watching Revenge?" Gi asked. That was her favorite show. Linka shook her head.

"I prefer Once." she said. "Revenge just... there's too much reality."

Suddenly, a soccer ball came flying at the girls. Gi threw herself back, letting the ball barely hit the tip of her nose. Linkas nose however, was not so lucky.

"Ou!" she growled, covering up her nose. Ma-Ti, who kicked the ball, ran over guitily.

"I'm so sorry Linka! Are you ok?"

Linka sniffed. "I'll live." she told him. Linka removed her hand from her nose to see it was bleeding.

"I'll go get a tampon." said Gi. Ma-Ti looked towards her confused. Even though he was now fully grown, he didn't know much about how women took care of themselves differently from men. "It'll stop the bleeding."

"Woah, is she ok?" Wheeler walked towards them. Linka looked away after realizing he had no shirt on.

"I'm ok. It was an accident."

"Well Ma-Ti, I guess you are getting tougher."

"I guess I don't know my own strength."

Linka sat up, covering her nose again and heading towards the girls cabins. She hoped, since Gi was getting a tampon, that they didn't follow her.

"Here!" Gi came running out with a tampon. Then she noticed the guys. "You guys don't want to see this."

"What's so bad about it?" Ma-Ti questioned. Wheeler slinked an arm around him.

"I'll tell you later, little buddy." He turned Ma-Ti away.

"You still have to call me little?"

"Of course I do."

Linka shrugged and accepted the tampon. Gi opened the door to her cabin and Linka slinked in.

"Ok, when I first saw that movie, I didn't think this would actually work."

Linka chuckled. "Well they are designed to absorb blood."

"Good thing Wheeler didn't see." Gi plopped herself on the couch.

"Good thing no guy saw." Linka corrected. "That really hurt. I think I might have some sand in my mouth." Linka walked into the restroom, flipped the switch, and filled the glass by the sink with water.

Then a purple aura appared to the girls. "I need you both at the Crystal Chamber."

"It looks like Greedly is at it again." Gaia shook her head. The monitor in front showed his pink helicopter, a giant drill hanging from it. "He's at the Gulf of Mexico currently inserting a drill into the center. If that drill gets too deep, we'll have another oil spill. Get there, and get it out."

"Not so fast!" And image of the interior of the helicopter came into the screen as the five turned to run. Greedly's face took more than half the picture. Some of the guys jumped back when Greedly popped up on the screen like a screamer. "There's more!"

"What do you mean by more?" Gaia questioned nervously.

"Well you're all going to want to pay close attention to this. Especially you, Blonde!"

"Why is that?" Linka asked. Wheeler hung his arm around her.

"Yeah Greedly, why is that?" he repeated. Linka crossed her arms and muttered her phrase of annoyance.

"Because every move you make will be crucial. That drill will go off unless you go through with my instructions."

"And why just me in particular?" she questioned again.

"You remember my son Junior."

The stomach acid in her system swirled a little. "The one you almost killed with your Road Hog scheme? Of course."

A rectangle formed in the right hand corner, showing a teenage boys room. Junior was sitting in front of his computer. Linka tried not to pop her eyes at how huge he got. "Bozhe moy."

"He certainly got big." Gi muttered to Kwame.

"Puberty did not do him good." Wheeler muttered, failing to hide his cheeky smile.

"Junior, you there?"

"Yeah."

"Alright blonde. Here's where you come in."

"Bozhe moy." She muttered again, her eyes widening completely. Her esophagus twisted.

"Junior's prom is tomorrow. His date bailed on him, so you're going with him."


	2. Chapter 2

"Woah, slow down." Wheeler cut in, bringing Linka closer to him. "What's that?"

"She's going to the prom with my son, Bacon Brain!"

"Vhat's prom?" Linka questioned to Wheeler. It didn't sound that bad by the innocence of the word.

"It's a school dance." Wheeler explained. "And that's up to her, Fatass. She can make her own decisions!"

"If she refuses, I will turn this drill on. And then you'll have a bigger problem on your hands."

Linka sighed. Everyone in the room grew tense. They must have been thinking the same thing. Why wouldn't Greedly just set it off then? He wasn't the kind of bad guy who played games.

"I have to." She told him.

"You're giving in like that?"

"I have no other choice Wheeler!" she barked, annoyed with his protection over her. "I'll go to this prom with him. Just, tell me when and where."

"Don't tell me. Let him ask you. Junior… And you Pyro, hands off her!"

He refused but Linka pulled herself out of him. The awkward spawn of the hog cleared his throat. Linka began to feel uneasy, wishing that she didn't split from Wheeler. Their incident may have been years ago but she was still not ok at the thought of him.

"Linka…"

Well at least he didn't call her 'doll'.

"Will you go to my prom with me?"

Her friends could see the terror under her skin. Her Adams apple seemed to double in size.

The next eight words were like poison on her tongue.

"Yes, I'll go to your prom with you."

"Louder girl, I can't hear you!"

"I said I'll go to the prom!" she snapped impatiently.

"Good. I expect you to be at my place tomorrow at six."

The screen blacked out, as did the Russian Planeteer.

* * *

After she woke up from her mini-coma, Linka asked what happened. Gi told her she was going to be Greedly Juniors prom date. She had hoped that she passed out first, dreamed that Junior asked her to his prom, and then woke up. It just had to be a bad dream.

After he gassed Goodair's room where they were contained, Linka recalled being grabbed and hauled out. The smog in her lungs kept her from trying to jump off. That was when she was forced into his car and taken on the worst ride ever. And to think his near death experience would help her forgive him. Maybe he did change, but Linka wasn't curious enough to find out in person.

The Soviet sighed as Wheeler pulled in front of the Greedlys residence. "Yep, this is their place alright," he said speculating at the pink pig house.

"Vhy didn't ve assume that the house looked like a pigs head?"

"Because normal people live here too." All the other houses in the complex were built the way Florida houses were supposed the look. "By the way Babe… you look great." Though he was really hoping she "forgot" to shave her armpits.

Linka's dress completely exposed her back but covered her shoulders. It was the same color as her ring, which she hid in her clutch bag to put on later. She was thinking about calling Bjork before ask if she could borrow her swan dress. The idea of her walking into the Greedly's house with that dress hiding under a trench coat made her smile almost. She pictured how Greedly's face would change as she threw it off for pictures.

Linka turned over to the window next to the front door and saw Greedly standing there like an unimpressed drill sergeant.

"Wish me luck. I'm going to need it." she stepped off the Eco-Cycle and gave him her helmet. Her blonde hair fell down, for once hanging freely.

"Remember, don't let that little piglett touch you."

She turned on her heels. "Wheeler, I am a big girl. I've got this. No get to the others and find that drill."

"Alright." He revved the engine. "Have a wonderful night Babe!"

Linka turned around again and stuck up her middle finger. Wheeler just laughed. The Eco-Cycle circled out of the driveway and down the street.

She sighed again and walked to the front doors, ready to take in whatever Greedly was going to say.

"What the hell took you so long?"

"You told me to be here at six. It's six o' one." She argued. "So let's go over this deal again. I play your game, help Junior have a good prom, and you won't set that drill off."

"Don't get smart with me." He jabbed her collarbone. "Now here are some ground rules, blonde; One, do as he says. If he tells you to kiss him, you kiss him. Got it Eco-Brat?"

Linka swallowed. "Uh… did he not tell you about our little car ride?" she asked as she checked the area for bruises. "Because if not, you might vant to have a word with him about that."

"I know what he did." Greedly snarled. "I saw him drag you to his car."

Linka scowled and shook her head. "You are unbelievable." She wondered where Junior's mother was. Probably she left years ago, Linka concluded. "Excuse me, where's the bathroom?"

"First room down the hall to the right."

Linka grasped her clutch bag and rushed over to the restroom. Unsurprisingly, the walls had pink striped wallpaper with pigs. The whole house was pink with pigs. If the theme to the dance had anything to do with pigs or the color pink, she thought she'd lose her temper.

She gazed into the glass on the wall to see the nerves in her face were visible like veins. She checked on the zit hiding under her eyebrow to see if it got any smaller. For all the places she traveled to, it was a miracle that it was the only worrisome facial flaw she had.

Her bag snapped open and she inspected all the contents; her phone, ring, pepper spray and straws were still in place. The pepper spray and straws were probably not necessary, but with what happened before she could not be too careful.

Outside the restroom, she heard footsteps ascending down the stairs. Linka froze nervously.

"Where is she?"

"She went to the bathroom. Women." His father snorted.

"I'll be out in a minute!" she called.

"Shit women say." Greedly snorted.

"I mean it!" she hollered. "Give me one second!" then she realized that was just another line women used to build time. "I got hit in the nose with a soccer ball yesterday before you called!" She didn't know why she was telling them this, for they mot likely didn't care.

With one deep breath, she was out the door. Linka secretly prayed that one of her shoes would snap an ankle.


End file.
